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Saturday, 25 April 2009

Farmgate Market @ The Pier

The opening day of the Farmgate Market @ The Pier last Saturday brought quite a bit of mixed commentary over at Cairnsblog. I've resisted any comment so far as I don't think any judgement can be made on the basis of an opening day and I only passed through briefly before fleeing the crowds!

However, I will get together some thoughts and comments both here and at Cairnsblog soon ....... so after some delays a too brief commentary which I'm sure will need to updated including ideas and suggestions ......



After avoiding the opening day crowds in favour of a coffee down at Cafe Lumiere I turned up for a more relaxed browse last Saturday. Maybe Anzac Day wasn’t a good day to make a judgement either but there was still a good turnout and unlike many more cynical commentators at Cairnsblog, I don’t see why this concept can’t be successful in this location, although there may need to be some evolution as it develops and matures.

Those commentators who seemed to think they may be able to go and do their fruit and vege shopping like at Rusty’s were misguided to begin with. If you thought that’s what it was going to be no wonder you were disappointed. It won’t be replacing my regular weekly jaunt to Rusty’s but as a food slut this is an addition. I walked away with a few kaffir limes, some hot chillis, and a bottle of sluttishly decadent rainforest lemon jus.

I have had the same response from vendors, with Gil down at Rusty’s Coffeeworks telling me that his sales hadn’t been affected by the opening, and they were also very pleased with the response for Coffeeworks at The Pier. Similarly Rusty’s vendors such as Jervois, Gallo, Mungalli, Spice Girls and both the local pasta makers seem content to support both venues. I found some products by these people I hadn’t seen before and some interesting new local producers such as Happy Beef, Rainforest Bounty and Tarzali Smokehouse.

The emphasis at this location needs to be more on high quality gourmet lines of regional best produce with an attraction of tourists as much as locals. We are more blessed than we realise and this is a sector that has been badly done and neglected here considering the global growth of food tourism. The local food tours are just cheap and shabby in my view and were I a visiting foodslut I would be disappointed in what we offer of our bounty and potential compared to other regions of Australia and the world.

My sense was that these were not necessarily the same people down at The Pier that you may run into down at Rusty’s, and the ambience was very different. There has been an obvious huge spin-off for the restaurant’s down at The Pier. Unlike many Cairnsblog cynics I’m not prepared to bury this so early and there is plenty of scope for evolution and ideas to let this grow into something positive if the organisers are willing to experiment . There were many ideas prompted in what passes for my mind but i'm not giving them away yet .....

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

How To Cook Naked

How To Cook Naked
KittyO ©


Sex is hungry work.

The easy answer is to nip to the fridge and grab a pot of yogurt to spoon over each other but there is nothing as restorative as home cooking. And why get dressed? Almost everything is more fun to do when you are doing it naked.

I am assuming that the urge to cook naked will come upon you when you are already naked; in search of an inter-course snack so to speak. Naked cookery has a place in every relationship but is best in the down time between bouts of sex. If you start the evening naked at the stove you are going to burn your dinner.

Most naked cooks are women. First of all, I have never met a man who would willingly put his naked penis anywhere near a gas burner. Secondly, men like to watch women doing things naked that are usually done clothed. Last, there is an advantage to looking tantalizing while he is recovering his strength. He isn't going to roll over and fall asleep when there is a naked woman whipping something nearby. Rested and fed, he will be ready to go again.

The kitchen is perhaps the most underused room in most houses when it comes to sexual encounters. This is a shame, as kitchens are packed with erotic enhancers; sweet sticky jams, ice cubes, olive oil. The gentle burning sensation of a hot chilli rubbed over a nipple lasts for hours. (You can tone down the sting by dabbing with a little Japanese sweet rice vinegar.) And don't forget the utility drawer; twist ties, wooden spoons, string, duct tape...

For some men, the very idea of a woman cooking naked in the house is enough to keep them aroused and content to stay in bed, even if they can't see her. But watching is half the fun. If you plan to do a lot of naked cooking, invest in a sofa for the kitchen or move to an open-plan house.

How naked are you going to be?

Total nudity is terrific for building body confidence. That said, a few accessories will add some spice. My personal preference is bare but for a pair of navy blue, patent leather stilettos that I keep in the kitchen as a daily reminder of some very tasty meals. Lingerie is generally incompatible with food preparation. It's one thing to lick a bit of maple syrup off a naked hip but it's pretty revolting to suck it out of the side strings of a thong. Frilly and dangly bits get in the way, garter belt snaps get hot, and there is the obvious problem of flammability. If you feel you must wear something consider an apron.

There are two basic types of apron, the waist and the bib. A waist apron can look particularly charming tied high above a well toned ass. Add high heels for a subtle tip of the pelvis. The obvious source for a waist apron is a uniform supplier that caters to maids and waitresses but have a poke around vintage clothing stores for something special. Waist aprons were popular until the 1960s and can be found in satin or taffeta for formal entertaining and cheerful prints for everyday wear. You can pick them for pennies as no one seems to know what to do with them these days. Now you do.

The bib apron is the one most people are familiar with. Look for one that is small enough around to leave your bottom exposed at the back and narrow enough up top so that at least the outer third of each breast remains uncovered.

Bib aprons are a great choice for male naked cooks as well and come in rougher fabrics like canvas and denim. The strap around the neck makes shoulders appear wider and the bow at the back turns the back of the thighs into a Christmas present. Tie it tight enough to encourage a little tent in front for dessert.

One more note on personal presentation, get waxed. There is nothing less appetizing than an errant pubic hair in the hollandaise sauce.

What to cook?

Never cook bacon naked, no matter how much you want it.

Whatever you choose to cook it should be light and it has to be fast. Don't make anything that produces crumbs if you plan to take the dish back to the bedroom Sweet things are good for energy levels, protein is good for stamina.

Some of the classic aphrodisiac foods will work while others simply don't. It is difficult to keep chocolate melted in the bedroom and the sterno for the fondue pot poses a fire hazard. Shucking oysters is always messy even if the mesh glove is a little bit kinky. And it's almost a shame to eat lobster naked, wasting all that ripping and tearing, which is such a nice prelude to ripping and tearing your clothes off later. Generally, anything that requires two hands to eat will complicate your evening. You should aspire to keep one hand free.

Be careful of anything that needs to be served very hot. Soup can prove disastrous; draining pasta is just asking for trouble.

In another dangerous category are those foods that look like other things. Reheated egg rolls, or, worse, reheated mini spring rolls are the opposite of sexually encouraging. Figs, on the other hand are an excellent choice. Cut Xs into four figs almost to the bottom. Gently spread them open and pour over honey warmed and diluted with a little water. The honey supplies instant energy to replace depleted blood sugar. Serve with crème fraishe or shavings of parmesan cheese if you prefer something savory.

Pancakes with fruit and whipped cream are fast and practical. Seasoned scrambled eggs are simple but effective. Warm, butter-soaked blinis with smoked salmon or caviar can be eaten with fingers which will become lickably butter-soaked as well.

If you feel confident enough to flambé in the nude, Bananas Foster is a decadent treat. Bananas have the added benefit of being high in rejuvenating potassium:

In a sauté pan melt together 4 oz butter and ½ cup brown sugar. When the sugar has dissolved and the butter is foaming add one sliced banana and a pinch of cinnamon. Baste the banana slices until they turn golden. Pour in two shots of dark rum and ignite to burn off the alcohol. Serve over vanilla ice cream.

Of all the foods suited to naked cooking the humble omelet is king. The process looks impressive while actually being very simple. Most people have a few eggs in the fridge and almost anything works as a filling. Omelets are light, fast to cook, easy to share, and nice to feed to each other.

Using a fork, mix together 2 or 3eggs, one teaspoon of water, salt and pepper. Be careful not to over-beat, working only till the color is uniform with no white streaks.

An omelet pan should have a long handle and sloping sides. And size really matters; the depth of egg in the pan should be about ¼ inch. The right sized pan for a 2 or 3 egg omelet has a six inch base. This, as a visual reference, is the same measurement as the length of the average erect penis. (Julia Child recommended a 7 inch pan, but, Julia Child was 6'2".)

Put the pan on the flame and let it go white hot. Add butter or butter mixed with oil to make ½ teaspoon. (The combination is a little less likely to go brown at the high temperature.)

One of the best features of the naked omelet is the ballet you do while making it. Wriggle your hips and shift your weight from side to side as you swirl the butter around the pan taking care to coat the sides.

When the butter is foaming pour in the eggs and take 5 breaths. This small display of patience is good practice for other things.

The edges of the omelet will have started to cook. At this point you have two options. For the first one, tilt the pan forwards about 45 degrees. Use the fork to pull the far edge into the center. More egg will roll down to fill the empty space. Continue this motion all around the pan until the egg is set but not cooked. This is the time to add any filling. A handful of grated cheese adds a nice tang, while a few leaves of basil will perfume both of your mouths. The view from behind for any onlookers will be of you rocking and swaying in unpredictable loops. I'll call this omelet the exotic dancer's naked omelet.

Option two is more advanced as well as more athletic. Grasp the handle of the pan with both hands and tip it forwards as before spilling the egg mixture away from you. Then, level the pan and jerk it towards you sending elbows back and hips forwards and up. The backwards thrusting will knock the egg mixture against the far edge of the pan and then send it falling into the empty space at the handle end like a breaking wave. Repeat this movement until the egg is set but not cooked. Now, proceed with filling as above. Picture this from behind and you will see why I am calling this one the money shot naked omelet.

The easiest way to fold the omelet is to tip the pan forwards again and coax the near side over far with the back of a fork.

For the last fold, take the handle of the pan in your dominant hand and a warmed plate in the other. Hold them together in a V shape. Tip the pan over the plate as you bring the plate level.

Grab two forks, crawl back into bed and enjoy.

Sunday, 19 April 2009

wineandfoodtube

wineandfoodtube may be worth a browse for tragic foodies and winos.

Saturday, 11 April 2009

Pizza Creations at Bel Paese

Well I was going to do a post and link to the ComPost story on the award winning four cheese pizza at Bel Paese. However while it does still google I can't find it there any longer, so bugger it will just repost it below, as I previously copied it to email to a friend, and update this post later when time allows ......

A previous posting by 'Essence' on family pizza at La Porchetta brought a string of comments and recommendations on favorite pizza places in Cairns. Barack Obama has even flown his favorite Pizza chef 860 miles to perform at the White House.


Family's pizza recipe the big cheese

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


A CAIRNS Italian family's four-cheese pizza has won an award at the Best of the Best Pizza Challenge in Brisbane.

The aromas and different textures of the mellow blue, mozzarella, ricotta and parmesan pizza caught the tastebuds of judges in the cheese category.

Nick Mure, of Bel Paese, said his son Salvatore’s creation was all about balance.

"That's what it is all about," Mr Mure said.

"Anyone can throw ingredients on the pizza, but of course, it's the way you put it on and the way you prepare the cheeses, you put some lemon zest and cracked pepper.

"They said the harmony of the cheeses worked well because they could taste all the different flavours."

Mr Mure said he was proud of the family’s achievements since the restaurant had been running in the North Queensland State finals.

"This year we did one better," he said.

Thursday, 9 April 2009

Easter musings from Jim's sister

Jennifer Marohasy, is better known as a blogging climate change sceptic than as the sister of Jim Turnour.

Jennifer has offered some easter musings on life and environmentalism which, as a fellow atheistic Darwinian from a culturally christian background (with maybe a whiff of Zen infusion) I thought contained some interesting perspectives.

I was comtemplating the rituals of easter today whilst browsing the meat display down at Woolies with a nice selection of those reduced price specials to shift produce before the use-by date. Now, don't get me wrong, the KitchenSlut staple diet is anything to do with the sea and his freezer is currently well stocked with a selection of scallops in the half shell, imported vietnamese baby squid, green bugs and a handfull of whiting fillets.

However, if I am anthing other than a pious believer why would I be paying inflated easter seafood prices rather than the stock clearing pre-easter meat specials? Presumably the answer would be cultural rather than religious? My assumption is that if there is a God he/she/intersexual is unlikely to be such a narcissistic bastard to send me to hell for the sin of eating discounted lamb's kidneys on Good Friday (sorry to the squeamish for the offal but my mum often served us lamb's kidneys for brekkie when we were kids) in preference to $50 a kilo Coral Trout, or a tin of tuna cat food for that matter?

I will contemplate this over easter in the context of our prominently piously church - going christian Prime Minister's abuse of a junior employee because of his in-flight meal. There are more effective ways to complain about airline food than bullying the waitress .....

P.S. Browsing Jennifer's blog today I was also curious on this posting that Native Ants Kill Cane Toads.

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